Old Mr. Kringle is soon gonna wrangle
The hells that'll bringle all the troubles your way
Everybody's waiting for the man with the sack
Cause' Christmas is on your back
He's got a full load, and it's gonna explode
The stuff will be sloppin' on your carpet all day
Everybody's waiting for the man with the sack
Cause's Christmas is on the attack
He'll be here
With the cancer to the wares you wanted this year
You'll get yours
If you've done everyone you should, extra special good
He'll make this December the one you'll remember
The best and the shallowest you ever did have
Everybody's shakin', they're all masturbatin'
Waitin' for the man with the sack
Better stretch out now!
24.12.09
14.12.09
msnbc on the Xbox Dashboard
I turned off a news feature on Tiger Woods on a major news channel last week to play some Xbox. As the Xbox dashboard booted up I noticed a panel that was a link to another Msnbc report on Tiger Woods. Overkill is great for Modern Warfare 2 but not for some celebrity's life. I mean come on people there are other things going on in the world.
The report on Xbox Live was no so much on Tiger but on the random woman who was being payed by Msnbc to tell the story related to text messages she saved on her phone. The messages were supposedly between herself and Woods. I don't care. We don't need this much information on the mistakes of one celebrity. Why did I check out the story? Because pop journalism infiltrated my game console in the form of a train wreck I could not look away from.
Please, Microsoft, if you're going to give us random shock reports on celebrity high jinx then give us some real news spots too. How about a well explained piece on proposed health care packages currently being debated in Congress. I challenge Msnbc to lay out the multiple sides of that argument in a down to earth manner.
The report on Xbox Live was no so much on Tiger but on the random woman who was being payed by Msnbc to tell the story related to text messages she saved on her phone. The messages were supposedly between herself and Woods. I don't care. We don't need this much information on the mistakes of one celebrity. Why did I check out the story? Because pop journalism infiltrated my game console in the form of a train wreck I could not look away from.
Please, Microsoft, if you're going to give us random shock reports on celebrity high jinx then give us some real news spots too. How about a well explained piece on proposed health care packages currently being debated in Congress. I challenge Msnbc to lay out the multiple sides of that argument in a down to earth manner.
6.11.09
Ever been told you suck at gaming?
Have you ever been playing something, it could be anything from monopoly to basketball, and someone keeps talking about how someone else on their team sucks. I'm not talking about trash talking the other team. When you're getting really competitive everyone on the other team sucks. No, I'm talking about those game snobs you run into who feel the need to tell people on their own team how they should never touch the sniper rifle again. Or how someone should hang up their controller for good because they couldn't make enough of a difference in the game to get the win.
Here's the reality folks. We are playing these games for fun. Professional gaming takes place at large tournaments not on xbox live on Tuesday night. If you're practicing for one of those tournaments then suck it up and play better yourself. If you want to make money with gaming you're gonna need all the no win situation experience you can get. As for the rest of us, being bad at a game is usually a start that we learn from. Very few people are borne awesome at anything. On the other hand we all have our stupid areas. Those things we continue to fail at no matter what the stakes are. I would be late to a sleepover with Megan Fox. I have a friend who would leave his dick in a men's room if it weren't attached to him.
So, in light of these thoughts let's be nicer to new gamers or those who have their problem areas and are working to get better. We're all gaming for fun on xbox live in one way or another.
Here's the reality folks. We are playing these games for fun. Professional gaming takes place at large tournaments not on xbox live on Tuesday night. If you're practicing for one of those tournaments then suck it up and play better yourself. If you want to make money with gaming you're gonna need all the no win situation experience you can get. As for the rest of us, being bad at a game is usually a start that we learn from. Very few people are borne awesome at anything. On the other hand we all have our stupid areas. Those things we continue to fail at no matter what the stakes are. I would be late to a sleepover with Megan Fox. I have a friend who would leave his dick in a men's room if it weren't attached to him.
So, in light of these thoughts let's be nicer to new gamers or those who have their problem areas and are working to get better. We're all gaming for fun on xbox live in one way or another.
3.11.09
Texting vs. Voice
Texting in relationships can be great. For me it beats the hell out of sitting on instant messenger for 3 hours a night during the late ninety's. And it really beats having a weird date with a very closed off girl in 2007 only to drive home and have a "real" conversation on instant messenger. By real in that last case I mean actual expression in a pathetically safe venue. Texting does not root you to a computer. This makes it a bit better, but not much.
I think we can all agree that texting is very convenient. We feel a buzz and we check the phone. Right, I should pickup some bread. This convince should make us realize that it doesn't count as real relationship communication. We need to hear each other's voices. Better yet, we should meet up and share some time together. Texting should be limited to small thinking of you comments, bread runs, and (my favorite) quick and dirty news flashes during a long work day. This type of text communication is useful and can make some one's day a lot better.
Just as true in romantic relationships as it is in friendships, your recipients should not feel pressure to answer back. This must be shared somehow. Random texting should not be a plea for attention, it should be a lightning bolt of fun. If you know that your textness is awesome funny just be in the moment and let them be in the same.
That's my 16 bits on relationship texting. Tell me yours. If you've ever had a bad fight or been dumped via texts let me know. If you have the person's gamertag I can do something childish about it for you. Good games till next time.
I think we can all agree that texting is very convenient. We feel a buzz and we check the phone. Right, I should pickup some bread. This convince should make us realize that it doesn't count as real relationship communication. We need to hear each other's voices. Better yet, we should meet up and share some time together. Texting should be limited to small thinking of you comments, bread runs, and (my favorite) quick and dirty news flashes during a long work day. This type of text communication is useful and can make some one's day a lot better.
Just as true in romantic relationships as it is in friendships, your recipients should not feel pressure to answer back. This must be shared somehow. Random texting should not be a plea for attention, it should be a lightning bolt of fun. If you know that your textness is awesome funny just be in the moment and let them be in the same.
That's my 16 bits on relationship texting. Tell me yours. If you've ever had a bad fight or been dumped via texts let me know. If you have the person's gamertag I can do something childish about it for you. Good games till next time.
Shoptacular!
Halloween is dead. That was so last week. Now it's time to snub the giving of thanks and move onto the money maker. The Holidays are here. Just like the last three Novembers, I am currently finding myself between financial ruin and the fun place of owning all the great games coming out this season.
There is Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2. This one is necessary. I could get it now and be in the loop or stuck on the wrong side of a sticky grenade during my catchup fest on Christmas day. Well, when you put it that way I guess now is the best time to get in on game of the year. (Is it too soon to call that?)
What other games are must haves before the Holiday day of choice for you? Let me know what you can't be without for a month.
By the way, did anyone vote today? I should have snagged some kid's trick or treat bag before I showed up. I got more propaganda based candy than you could shake a little red book at. Democracy may give me diabetes.
There is Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2. This one is necessary. I could get it now and be in the loop or stuck on the wrong side of a sticky grenade during my catchup fest on Christmas day. Well, when you put it that way I guess now is the best time to get in on game of the year. (Is it too soon to call that?)
What other games are must haves before the Holiday day of choice for you? Let me know what you can't be without for a month.
By the way, did anyone vote today? I should have snagged some kid's trick or treat bag before I showed up. I got more propaganda based candy than you could shake a little red book at. Democracy may give me diabetes.
27.10.09
Some annoying words in gaming
There are always words or cliche phrases that annoy us. As gamers, we know what pushes our buttons. To some it may be puns like that one. I'm really opening up a can of worms here. Some one's gonna have a bone to pick with me. O.K. I'll stop.
To any gamer I think one of the most annoying words to hear is delayed. Like if I were to say Modern Warfare 2 is delayed until February. I can only say that once per month or my xbox will catch on fire. Some poor reader may die of a heart attack tonight just because I typed that.
On a more personal note, I think one of the most enraging words used in gaming is pwned. Omfg, every time I see or hear this word I see nothing but red on my screen. I have to mutter through clenched teeth for teammates to get away from me so I don't pwn them. Damn, I said it again. It's a leetspeak slang version of the perfectly fine verb own, in this case meaning to destroy an opponent. Why can't gamers just use the term owned? Variations of the slang verb include powned, pwnage, pwn3d and pwnt. Jesus, I need to stop. This is killing me.
It also kind of annoys the hell out of me when people spell their names or gamertags with numbers or symbols as letters. I understand this is part of the whole leetspeak AscII art thing. To me it just means you can't think of a name without using some crazy numeral in the space of a letter in the original idea. The name Superman would have 20 morons spelling their bastardization anything like Sup3rman, 5up3rm4n or ${_}P3r/V\4(\).
So what annoys you in the gaming world? Here we can vent about it together. Good games till later.
To any gamer I think one of the most annoying words to hear is delayed. Like if I were to say Modern Warfare 2 is delayed until February. I can only say that once per month or my xbox will catch on fire. Some poor reader may die of a heart attack tonight just because I typed that.
On a more personal note, I think one of the most enraging words used in gaming is pwned. Omfg, every time I see or hear this word I see nothing but red on my screen. I have to mutter through clenched teeth for teammates to get away from me so I don't pwn them. Damn, I said it again. It's a leetspeak slang version of the perfectly fine verb own, in this case meaning to destroy an opponent. Why can't gamers just use the term owned? Variations of the slang verb include powned, pwnage, pwn3d and pwnt. Jesus, I need to stop. This is killing me.
It also kind of annoys the hell out of me when people spell their names or gamertags with numbers or symbols as letters. I understand this is part of the whole leetspeak AscII art thing. To me it just means you can't think of a name without using some crazy numeral in the space of a letter in the original idea. The name Superman would have 20 morons spelling their bastardization anything like Sup3rman, 5up3rm4n or ${_}P3r/V\4(\).
So what annoys you in the gaming world? Here we can vent about it together. Good games till later.
Top 10 multiplayer videogames
I submit to you my top 10 list of multi player games. This is going to be controversial. Please give me your own lists. The criteria is broad, any video game online or otherwise that people can play with or against each other.
10. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time. For me this is where it really started back in the mall Arcade during the early 90s. As soon a Krang stole the Statue of Liberty I was ready to kick some serious shell. There is currently a remake available on Xbox live arcade that is pretty good.
9. Unreal Tournament. I'm just going to put the general name here because the editions changed so fast that you just had to update when you got to the lan party.
8. Counter Strike: Source. More horrible sprays than you can shake a deagle at.
7. Gears of War 2. On the 6th day, Cliff Bleszinski put a chainsaw on a machine gun and we saw that it was good.
6. Soulcalibur. The Dreamcast may have been a short lived system but the soul still burns.
5. Rainbow Six: Raven Shield. Text based trash talk, key binds and team killing wars. You could change your name anytime and keep ruining a douchebag's game night for hours. This game was lan awesomeness.
4. StarCraft. Going strong more than 10 years after its release. One man died after playing this game for over 70 hours at an internet cafe.
3. GoldenEye 007. The classic that made console shooters good for the first time. Pistols in the basement- yes, Oddjob is still off limits.
2. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. The sequel can't come soon enough. The COD games are all good but this thing was ridiculous good.
1. Halo 2/3. The second game in the series really did a lot for console multi player with the match making system. The game play and voice chat just creates a great situation for group entertainment. It's Friday night, do you know where Ryan the Rockstar's mother is?
10. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time. For me this is where it really started back in the mall Arcade during the early 90s. As soon a Krang stole the Statue of Liberty I was ready to kick some serious shell. There is currently a remake available on Xbox live arcade that is pretty good.
9. Unreal Tournament. I'm just going to put the general name here because the editions changed so fast that you just had to update when you got to the lan party.
8. Counter Strike: Source. More horrible sprays than you can shake a deagle at.
7. Gears of War 2. On the 6th day, Cliff Bleszinski put a chainsaw on a machine gun and we saw that it was good.
6. Soulcalibur. The Dreamcast may have been a short lived system but the soul still burns.
5. Rainbow Six: Raven Shield. Text based trash talk, key binds and team killing wars. You could change your name anytime and keep ruining a douchebag's game night for hours. This game was lan awesomeness.
4. StarCraft. Going strong more than 10 years after its release. One man died after playing this game for over 70 hours at an internet cafe.
3. GoldenEye 007. The classic that made console shooters good for the first time. Pistols in the basement- yes, Oddjob is still off limits.
2. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. The sequel can't come soon enough. The COD games are all good but this thing was ridiculous good.
1. Halo 2/3. The second game in the series really did a lot for console multi player with the match making system. The game play and voice chat just creates a great situation for group entertainment. It's Friday night, do you know where Ryan the Rockstar's mother is?
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